petek, 27. november 2009

DARK FUNERAL - Angelus Exuro pro Eternus
Supposingly the saying goes that to change something a little, never hurts anybody… Unless that change means to rape the ''dogmatic'' axioms of Black Metal. So as Luziferion is not meant to be taken as some kind of a news zine to show what is going on in the Black Metal world (you have countless zines already for that), but more like to guide in what really is qualified Black Metal in it's purest form, that is so rare to find nowadays. However to be just ignoring the stupidity of what pretends to be Black Metal, could be the best choice, only to stock up the anger and frustration that is within one's inner sides. And eventually at some point… It will fucking ignite and set on fire all around. Thus in the case of this specific choice, it will be pointed out, rather than what to listen, what NOT to listen – though it's already obvious, but just for the fucking sake of it. So here it goes…

Dark Funeral… Where to begin… I will admit that I used to be a fan (or at least something like that). I liked the album Secrets Of The Black Arts, because it was the pinnacle of Black Metal for me at the time; the time when those around me thought that Cradle Of Filth are Black Metal that deal with Devil worship. Sorrounded by retards, what else is new… And as the time passed, I have matured in visions of what Black Metal really is, was and will be and came to a conclusion that Dark Funeral are not in these circles of Black Metal. Just to be sure, they have to prove themselves again and again how they do not fit in. In reality. In their own world maybe, they are the kings of ineffable darkness.

So now they have offered us an album entitled Angelus Exuro Pro Eternus, which again like the last one, filled with grammar mistakes. They meant to have the title translated Burning Angels For Eternity. So for the foreplay: The latin plural of an angel is angeli. You can already guess where this will go.

Before going on the album itself, let us look on the cover and songtitles itself. The cover shows… you guessed it… SATAN, yeah!!! Drawn in a piss-poor style of H.R. Giger. All it needs is some phallic resemblence.

As for the songs, I will be kind enough to write down my first impressions of what I thought as I saw these song titles. So here we go:

The End of Human Race – If you wish upon an end, how the fuck will you get your master satanic race then?

The Birth of The Vampiir – Misspelling? Or for fuck's sake I hope it is not for rhyming purpouses.

Stigmata - Il mesengero non e' importante. l'importante e' il messaggio, che questo album fa cagare.

My Funeral – Just read the fucking warning in the beginning of the video (about band not supporting death, suicide or violence).

Angelus Exuro pro Eternus – Mention I before this title not be right.

Demons of Five – This little demon went to market. This little demon went home…

Declaration of Hate – My thoughts on this album exactly.

In My Dreams – Wig Wam cover?

My Latex Queen – Because every album must have a song about fucking. And why latex instead of real leather? Don't want to upset pETA, like the PC ''Black Metal'' you are?

So now on the music itself. I read somewhere that this album is their most powerful, technical
and varied album to date. And while still being true to their roots. Varied? It all fucking sounds the same. And it has been so for the last three or four albums. Technical? Here the stereotype that metal is just 3 chords reaches it's highest point. Powerful? Speed does not add up for something to be powerful.

For the grand opening, we get a… drum fart. And then it starts on and on and on with monotnous riffs, blastbeats that are just about speed and not feeling and annoying vocals. Now there will definately be some idiots out there that will cry: »But this is their trademark sound…« No assholes. Trademark sound means that they can do anything that will sound like the band that performs it – like Iron Maiden for example. What Dark Funeral does is just clone their material over and over again. There is really nothing more to say for this. Then we have the song My Funeral, which really reminds me on the perpetual horrors and The Perpetual Horrors song by Naglfar. Already before, I mentioned that the video was made for this shit, where it states that the band does not approve violence and so. Not to mention they are against paedophilia. They scream about how they hate the church and hate humanity and yet are against paedophilia because a child is a source of energy (like in the movie The Matrix) and can grow up to be a powerful Satanist. Wow… When it comes to paradox… Should be taken in consideration that the church has at least done something through the history to help to decrease humanity via inquisition and crusades. And NO! I do not support their beliefs, I piss on them. Just so idiots will not think this the wrong way. But as long as they lead the manlike vermin into perdition – I won't object. So back to Dark Funeral. By the end of the song My Funeral I almost gave up on listening any further. The riffs you can not distinguish, the constant blast-beating and annoying vocals just to please stupid idiots who think this is the pinnacle of Black Metal. This could easily be labeled as Black Metal for kids who like to scream »HAIL SATAN!« without knowing what Satan really is. The only good thing on this travesty is in the song My Latex Queer, when the song starts fading out, announcing it's end.

Thank Satan…

My final mark: 0 / 666

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